I am in Wampum visiting with my 74 year old mother for Christmas with Kerry and the kids. This morning as we sat around the table having coffee I had a very revealing conversation with my mother that point toward why the church is in trouble. We deny that change has taken place and that new way of communicating can be as effective as the old.
I was talking about how I have connected to so many people through the use of the internet and spend most of my time communicating with the younger generation on line. I very seldom see many of this generation in person except at social events or disciple growing opportunities. They do not very often attend traditional forms of worship. Many, however, will attend our service that is geared to helping people connect with each other and God through the use of more modern music and very non-liturgical worship. My mother thought it was terrible that I would take the time to type and spend all that time in front of the computer.
My mother is a church secretary and has served in that capacity through three very different pastors with very different approaches to ministry. I told her that even while I have been here since yesterday I have had communication with three of the younger generation from the church and they have all been on line. She proceeded to tell me how different the three pastor’s approaches to ministry have been while she has worked there. The first pastor, who has now been retired for number or years, and the second pastor, closer to my age, would come into the office and get on the phone and contact people by phone. They would call people and even pray with them on the phone, make an appointment to go see them and then later in the day go and visit them. The new pastor, one of our younger pastors, comes in and gets on his computer and spends the whole day in front of the computer.
I started probing about what the difference was in the makeup of the congregation in worship. This is a congregation that I have on occasion worshiped with including the Sunday after my father’s funeral in that church. During that service, very traditional with more modern elements, I noticed that there were a number of college age and many younger couples with children. The congregation is slowly changing to include many younger people. There is a cost to that change taking place that will make many very uncomfortable.
You see, this younger generation, communicated with modern technology including the internet, cell phones, texting and will include many new forms of sending a message that those of us of the older generation will have to either accept of not be able to connect. I have to admit that I am as uncomfortable with these changes as most of my generation. It has been a conscious decision on my part to find ways to communicate with these generations and find ways of sharing the gospel with them. I do know that like in every generation I have to build relationships with them in order to be able to do that. It means that I have to learn new technologies and spend time using that technology to stay connected and build those relationships.
My mother’s reaction was that it was ridiculous to spend hours on the computer doing that and that I should spend time with people. I told her that I stay connected with people all over the world this way including relatives and friends throughout the United States and friends in other parts of the world including Russia, Israel and several other countries. I pointed out that she uses her computer to connect with some of those same relatives and her friends. She told me that she checks her computer once a day at the end of the day or maybe three times a day if she is here all day. I ask her if she uses her phone to connect with people and of course she said yes. I can remember her being on the phone for hours when I lived here as she talked with her sister that she had just spent the day with or with one of her friends. I ask her why she answers her phone when it rings or why she doesn’t just leave it go to voice mail and check it once a day or three times a day when she is here. Is there really a difference?
I wonder how many of those that still use old technology remember when we used to go and actually visit people and spend time sitting and talking. When I was a kid we went frequently to visit friends and relatives and stayed connected that way. I notice that most people don’t do that anymore. You see we all adjust our way of living to do what we are comfortable with and then at some point often decide that we have changed enough and that allows others to pass us by. Most of us wouldn’t think of not answering our phone but think that those that use instant messaging or text messages should ignore those methods of communication.
I have also noted that even those that use new technologies will sometimes hold on to old habits without thinking of them. For example, when I am IMing with someone over 40 they often get offended if they think or assume that I am also IMing with someone else as if we were having a private phone conversation. Yet I often have many conversations going at the same time with those of younger generations that include many gaps in them and are picked back up as if there hadn’t even been a pause. It is a different way of doing the same thing we have always done, communicating.
Does the church really want to reach younger people? Do we want people that are different then us in our churches? Are we willing to do what it takes to reach generations that communicate in different ways then we are comfortable with? God will reach the new generations with the good news that Jesus is the way to a relationship with God and the peace that is hard to understand. There are churches that are overflowing with young energetic worshipers. Is your church communicating to the generations that it says it wants or does it only want those that will use the telegraph to connect? Does that question make you as uncomfortable as it makes me?
Monday, December 29, 2008
Friday, May 16, 2008
Parking or Passion
I keep reading that parking is one of the keys to a successful church. I wonder if that is really true!
What got me to thinking was a trip to the mall last week to pick up something. I had to park several rows out from the nearest entrance and it was pouring down rain. I noticed that there were cars parked in many areas of the lot a long distance from the doors. People had to walk at least a block if not more to even enter the building.
Why are people willing to walk that far to enter the mall? I think the answer is simple! There is something in there they are willing to make the journey to enjoy or experience. Anyone who shops at the mall knows that it doesn’t have most convenient parking or the best prices. I think there are a number of reasons that people go to malls to shop. One is that they hope that they will find what they are looking for when they get there. It might not be the cheapest available or the easiest to find but they will go to the malls because there is a good chance what they want will be there somewhere. They also go there so that they can see their friends or maybe make a new one. If you don’t believe me, sit in the middle of the mall sometime and watch people interacting with each other. And lastly they like to buy from certain stores because it fits the image they want to personify.
Many people come to our churches expecting to find something there! They expect to come and experience God or too connect with friends. They are looking for something special when they come. Sometimes they want to be there and remain anonymous. The one thing that they all come looking for is acceptance and a sense of hope for the future. One other thought, are they concerned about the image they will have if they become part of your church?
Are people not returning to our churches because there is no parking or is because they don’t feel there is hope that their needs will be met? What would happen if every member of our churches parked far enough away that there were always open spots for visitors? When I worked in a retail store in the city I was told that if I was found parking in front of the store I would be looking for a job. Those spaces where for customers. I find it interesting when I see key leadership getting to the church early so they can get a prime parking space. Or worse yet, a reserve parking place right by the door for the pastor and other key leaders of the church.
More importantly what happens when they enter the door? Even Wal-Mart has someone great you when you enter the store. I find that many people enter our doors and are so uncomfortable because they don’t know what is expected of them and what they did expect is not there. I am amazed how often those attending for the first time are ignored or even have negative comments about them. In leading a seminar on being a welcoming church I send the participants out to visit other churches and report back on the experience. In one case, a young lady was criticized by a lady about how she was dressed. We need to learn to treat all that enter our doors with radical hospitality if we want them to return.
The fact is that parking is not the reason our churches are not full! It is the lack of passion for making students of Jesus. When we begin to become passionate about inspiring people to build a relationship with Jesus and therefore teaching them how to connect with God our churches will overflow with people even if they have to walk a block or two. Does your church inspire people to walk?
What got me to thinking was a trip to the mall last week to pick up something. I had to park several rows out from the nearest entrance and it was pouring down rain. I noticed that there were cars parked in many areas of the lot a long distance from the doors. People had to walk at least a block if not more to even enter the building.
Why are people willing to walk that far to enter the mall? I think the answer is simple! There is something in there they are willing to make the journey to enjoy or experience. Anyone who shops at the mall knows that it doesn’t have most convenient parking or the best prices. I think there are a number of reasons that people go to malls to shop. One is that they hope that they will find what they are looking for when they get there. It might not be the cheapest available or the easiest to find but they will go to the malls because there is a good chance what they want will be there somewhere. They also go there so that they can see their friends or maybe make a new one. If you don’t believe me, sit in the middle of the mall sometime and watch people interacting with each other. And lastly they like to buy from certain stores because it fits the image they want to personify.
Many people come to our churches expecting to find something there! They expect to come and experience God or too connect with friends. They are looking for something special when they come. Sometimes they want to be there and remain anonymous. The one thing that they all come looking for is acceptance and a sense of hope for the future. One other thought, are they concerned about the image they will have if they become part of your church?
Are people not returning to our churches because there is no parking or is because they don’t feel there is hope that their needs will be met? What would happen if every member of our churches parked far enough away that there were always open spots for visitors? When I worked in a retail store in the city I was told that if I was found parking in front of the store I would be looking for a job. Those spaces where for customers. I find it interesting when I see key leadership getting to the church early so they can get a prime parking space. Or worse yet, a reserve parking place right by the door for the pastor and other key leaders of the church.
More importantly what happens when they enter the door? Even Wal-Mart has someone great you when you enter the store. I find that many people enter our doors and are so uncomfortable because they don’t know what is expected of them and what they did expect is not there. I am amazed how often those attending for the first time are ignored or even have negative comments about them. In leading a seminar on being a welcoming church I send the participants out to visit other churches and report back on the experience. In one case, a young lady was criticized by a lady about how she was dressed. We need to learn to treat all that enter our doors with radical hospitality if we want them to return.
The fact is that parking is not the reason our churches are not full! It is the lack of passion for making students of Jesus. When we begin to become passionate about inspiring people to build a relationship with Jesus and therefore teaching them how to connect with God our churches will overflow with people even if they have to walk a block or two. Does your church inspire people to walk?
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
Still Learning
Last Sunday we celebrated Pentecost and Mother’s Day with a brand new organ as part of the service. It is an electronic organ that delivered on its promise to sound like a pipe organ that it replaced. I was amazed as we listened to it for the first time. Someone said to me afterward, “You can even hear the air going through the pipes!” The fact is that you can hear the air going through the pipes because each note is a digital recording of a pipe organ. It is amazing!
Even more amazing to me was a conversation that I had with our organist on Monday morning. She had worked very hard to provide excellent music for us with only a short time to practice on the new organ since the final installation had only been completed at 2 p.m. on Saturday. As we talked she told me how excited she was to start taking lessons on the new organ. Her instructor was going to start coming to the church to give her lessons.
You might not think much about that, but we will celebrate this December her 40th anniversary as our organist. She has been an organist for 70 years. It is wonderful to see the excitement in her about learning new things. Made me reflect on that fact that many of us think that our learning is over when we finish school and that we know what we are doing. When I was teaching at the college level I always told my students that my goal was that I would inspire in them a desire to be lifelong learners. I couldn’t teach them enough in the short time we were together about the subject matter to make it relevant for the rest of their lives. They would have to continue to read and seek out knowledge in whatever field they decided to pursue.
In the 35 years that I have been a Christian, I have learned how little I really know. The more I learn the more I understand that I am only touching the tip of the possibilities. I read extensively and almost every book I read leads to at least one other book that I want to read. I am always looking for that tidbit of information that will make me a stronger disciple and disciple maker. Like my organist I want to continue to learn and be inspired so that I can find new ways of connecting to the world around me.
This week I have learned new things about an organ, been inspired by a woman to never think I know enough, and have grown more excited about the possibilities of what God has to teach me yet.
Even more amazing to me was a conversation that I had with our organist on Monday morning. She had worked very hard to provide excellent music for us with only a short time to practice on the new organ since the final installation had only been completed at 2 p.m. on Saturday. As we talked she told me how excited she was to start taking lessons on the new organ. Her instructor was going to start coming to the church to give her lessons.
You might not think much about that, but we will celebrate this December her 40th anniversary as our organist. She has been an organist for 70 years. It is wonderful to see the excitement in her about learning new things. Made me reflect on that fact that many of us think that our learning is over when we finish school and that we know what we are doing. When I was teaching at the college level I always told my students that my goal was that I would inspire in them a desire to be lifelong learners. I couldn’t teach them enough in the short time we were together about the subject matter to make it relevant for the rest of their lives. They would have to continue to read and seek out knowledge in whatever field they decided to pursue.
In the 35 years that I have been a Christian, I have learned how little I really know. The more I learn the more I understand that I am only touching the tip of the possibilities. I read extensively and almost every book I read leads to at least one other book that I want to read. I am always looking for that tidbit of information that will make me a stronger disciple and disciple maker. Like my organist I want to continue to learn and be inspired so that I can find new ways of connecting to the world around me.
This week I have learned new things about an organ, been inspired by a woman to never think I know enough, and have grown more excited about the possibilities of what God has to teach me yet.
Sunday, May 4, 2008
Willing to Die
In Luke 24 Jesus tells his disciples “whoever wishes to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake, he is the one who will save it.” As I was reading that passage in a book by Bishop Schnase on risk-taking mission and service, it got me to thinking about what would happen if our churches began to live out that challenge by Jesus. Many of us challenge our congregations to live a risk taking life and to trust God to meet our needs. We don’t hesitate to ask our people to stretch in their giving and to respond to needs of the church.
I believe that Jesus was challenging us to live fully for God. If we try and hold on to even a small piece of our life then we haven’t decided to trust God with everything we have. Are we willing to trust God in the church enough to realize that some things, even churches, need to die to self in order for the church to know new life?
In order to serve God fully we must be willing to die to self and live fully for God. That means the old self must die so that new life can come. Jesus tells us that the willingness to give up our life for his sake would mean that we saved our life. I have always looked at this as a promise related to eternal life. Now I am beginning to think that Jesus was also talking about this life as well. When we die in living for ourselves so that we can really sell ourselves out for Jesus we must give up things that seemed so important to us in the past.
My life has changed dramatically as I have learned to die to self in order to serve my God in all areas of my life. That change has not always been easy and at times it has been very difficult for me to give up some things. Every time I have watched some part of my life die in order to more faithfully serve my Lord I have found that I understand anew that my life has been saved.
What would happen if our churches began to live as if it believed their life wasn’t their own but God’s? What would it mean for the church to die to self so that it might live? Would it mean that we had to give up thinking about what we like? Would it mean giving up thinking about how to use our money to keep the doors open and how we can impact the world for Jesus with it? Would it mean thinking not about how we can connect with God in our church but how we can help people not in a relationship with God connect to God?
The church is not a building, but the people that make it up. When we think about that we realize that for the church to die to self we must die to self. If the church is going to live it must be living for Jesus. When the church, the people, live and love like Jesus they begin transforming the world in the name of Jesus. Others can’t help but be attracted to the life of those that have been touched by the hand of God. All it takes is a willingness to die!
I believe that Jesus was challenging us to live fully for God. If we try and hold on to even a small piece of our life then we haven’t decided to trust God with everything we have. Are we willing to trust God in the church enough to realize that some things, even churches, need to die to self in order for the church to know new life?
In order to serve God fully we must be willing to die to self and live fully for God. That means the old self must die so that new life can come. Jesus tells us that the willingness to give up our life for his sake would mean that we saved our life. I have always looked at this as a promise related to eternal life. Now I am beginning to think that Jesus was also talking about this life as well. When we die in living for ourselves so that we can really sell ourselves out for Jesus we must give up things that seemed so important to us in the past.
My life has changed dramatically as I have learned to die to self in order to serve my God in all areas of my life. That change has not always been easy and at times it has been very difficult for me to give up some things. Every time I have watched some part of my life die in order to more faithfully serve my Lord I have found that I understand anew that my life has been saved.
What would happen if our churches began to live as if it believed their life wasn’t their own but God’s? What would it mean for the church to die to self so that it might live? Would it mean that we had to give up thinking about what we like? Would it mean giving up thinking about how to use our money to keep the doors open and how we can impact the world for Jesus with it? Would it mean thinking not about how we can connect with God in our church but how we can help people not in a relationship with God connect to God?
The church is not a building, but the people that make it up. When we think about that we realize that for the church to die to self we must die to self. If the church is going to live it must be living for Jesus. When the church, the people, live and love like Jesus they begin transforming the world in the name of Jesus. Others can’t help but be attracted to the life of those that have been touched by the hand of God. All it takes is a willingness to die!
Saturday, May 3, 2008
Come and See
I am getting ready to use the words of Jesus when he was asked where he was staying, “come and see”, in a series of messages for the Haven service on Saturday nights at Kingsley UMC. On Saturday night we do worship differently than most of us are used to. We call it Worship that Rocks! In the 21 months that I have served this church and I have been fascinated to see many people that would never enter a traditional service. It has been growing and we are seeing new people almost every week. Like most services many people are not there every week.
For the first time in my ministry I have gotten a complaint that I never thought I would hear. “Why isn’t the service longer?” is a complaint I hear on a regular basis at this service. And it is already a service that goes over an hour on a regular basis. There are other churches coming and at least three other churches have started services using ideas they have gotten from the Haven.
As I talk to new people each week I always ask how they heard about the Haven. Almost every time they tell me that someone told them they needed to “come and see” what was happening on Saturday nights at the Haven. In one case a young woman that I met on MySpace and invited to join us came one night last fall and brought a friend with her. They started coming on a regular basis and soon her friend was bringing her sister. A couple of weeks ago her friend brought another friend and the sister brought two friends. I went out to dinner with them afterward and her friend’s friend that was there for the first time was telling me she was thinking of a couple of friends that she wanted to invite to “come and see” what we were doing.
We also started doing a Karaoke Night one Friday a month and an Open Mic Night one Friday a month. These nights allow us to reach out and meet people that are not connected to a church. On Monday nights we offer free guitar lessons. On Election Day we open the Haven across the hall from the polls and offer coffee and pastries. Every election it has led to a connection to at least one person that visits us for something at the church. One afternoon I had to leave for a short time and when I got back one of the poll workers that I have gotten to know was giving a voter a tour of the Haven and telling them that they had to “come and see.” We are connecting in ways that are outside the ordinary. It has led to a number of stories in the paper.
As I think about it people were frequently telling others to come and see Jesus. At times they were telling people to come and see what Jesus was doing, healing, teaching or praying. They were excited because of something they had experienced with Jesus. They couldn’t help but want to go and tell others what they had experienced and witnessed. They didn’t have to make anything up.
How many of our churches are doing things that people are telling others “come and see”.
More importantly, what is happening in our churches that people connect with Jesus in such a way that they can’t wait to go and tell others to “come and see” what God is doing in this place? Every day I see God working in the lives of people in amazing ways. We have been attracting people that many other churches have made to feel unwanted and rejected. God is at work in our midst and it is exciting to see.
My prayer is that people will continue to hear what is happening in our midst and they will “come and see” what God is doing. If that is not happening in your church, what would have to change to get people excited enough to want to tell others?
For the first time in my ministry I have gotten a complaint that I never thought I would hear. “Why isn’t the service longer?” is a complaint I hear on a regular basis at this service. And it is already a service that goes over an hour on a regular basis. There are other churches coming and at least three other churches have started services using ideas they have gotten from the Haven.
As I talk to new people each week I always ask how they heard about the Haven. Almost every time they tell me that someone told them they needed to “come and see” what was happening on Saturday nights at the Haven. In one case a young woman that I met on MySpace and invited to join us came one night last fall and brought a friend with her. They started coming on a regular basis and soon her friend was bringing her sister. A couple of weeks ago her friend brought another friend and the sister brought two friends. I went out to dinner with them afterward and her friend’s friend that was there for the first time was telling me she was thinking of a couple of friends that she wanted to invite to “come and see” what we were doing.
We also started doing a Karaoke Night one Friday a month and an Open Mic Night one Friday a month. These nights allow us to reach out and meet people that are not connected to a church. On Monday nights we offer free guitar lessons. On Election Day we open the Haven across the hall from the polls and offer coffee and pastries. Every election it has led to a connection to at least one person that visits us for something at the church. One afternoon I had to leave for a short time and when I got back one of the poll workers that I have gotten to know was giving a voter a tour of the Haven and telling them that they had to “come and see.” We are connecting in ways that are outside the ordinary. It has led to a number of stories in the paper.
As I think about it people were frequently telling others to come and see Jesus. At times they were telling people to come and see what Jesus was doing, healing, teaching or praying. They were excited because of something they had experienced with Jesus. They couldn’t help but want to go and tell others what they had experienced and witnessed. They didn’t have to make anything up.
How many of our churches are doing things that people are telling others “come and see”.
More importantly, what is happening in our churches that people connect with Jesus in such a way that they can’t wait to go and tell others to “come and see” what God is doing in this place? Every day I see God working in the lives of people in amazing ways. We have been attracting people that many other churches have made to feel unwanted and rejected. God is at work in our midst and it is exciting to see.
My prayer is that people will continue to hear what is happening in our midst and they will “come and see” what God is doing. If that is not happening in your church, what would have to change to get people excited enough to want to tell others?
Sunday, April 13, 2008
Wake Up Church
We keep pretending that we know what we are doing don’t we? Those of us that have been a part of the church for many years act like we know what we are doing. I don’t think so anymore. Sometimes, I think most of us are completely clueless as to how to impact the world for Jesus.
The other day one of my friends posted the following blog:
If we think this is just someone that doesn’t know what they are talking about or not aware of what is happening in the church, think again! This is a preacher’s kid, (PK) that has lived the life at home and paid the price for the demands in the church in ways that we can’t even imagine. I don’t blame them for feeling this way. This is their experience and it is real. They have lived the life of a pastor from the inside and now are looking at it from the outside.
As I read the comments on her blog by others her age they were all in agreement with her on what the church is like today. They put on some of their own stories as to how the church has no idea how to connect with them and doesn’t appear to care. We can continue to ignore this kind of reaction or we can decide that we are going to start asking what needs to change for us to become a place of trust, grace and hope again. This is what I have been reading about his generation in the last few months. I have been out finding ways to connect outside the church with this generation and what I hear is not encouraging.
In the book UnChristian by Kinnaman, published by the Barna Group, is a detailed study of those between 16 and 29. It confirmed what I have been hearing in these conversations. They feel they cannot trust the church. We preach and teach one thing and then live another way both inside and more importantly outside the church. I love the title of a book by Dan Kimball, They Like Jesus But Not the Church, that talks about this generation and how they view the church.
In my message at the church I preached at this morning I started by saying “Good morning church!” There was a resounding “Good Morning” in both services. I was speaking at another church as part of a pulpit rotation. I wonder if we understand that we are the church to those that are both in and outside the church, especially to those outside the church. When we proclaim ourselves as the church we better be prepared to be the church both inside and out of the building.
As my friend tells us in their blog, and I hear when I talk to so many outside the church, we are not known for being the face of Jesus to the world. Does anything have to change in your church for the world to see the grace and love of Jesus?
The other day one of my friends posted the following blog:
I’ve been doing alot of thinking lately, not just in the ’I’m turning 30
this year’ mode, more general due to some situations I’ve been involved in
throughout the past few years. I haven’t come up with much so far, just
rethinking who I thought I was. For instance, I used to consider myself a
Christian, but I don’t claim to be that anymore. I do still believe
God exists, but due to my own experiences with the church and with ’fellow
christians’ I have no desire to be lumped into a group with most of them.
I can’t tell you how many meetings I’ve been to with Ministers and District
Superintendents and Bishops who sit there bitching and moaning about, "What
can we do to start bringing more people back into the church?! Oh!
Let’s have another rummage sale!" Here’s a thought, start actually acting
like christians when you’re outside of church (for that matter, start acting
like it when you’re IN church!) And for clarification, this DOES NOT
mean browbeating people with your own judgements on their life or cramming your
beliefs down peoples throats. If you’re really a christian, people
should be able to see it in the way you act towards others and in the way you
live your life. The Methodist Church has this great advertising
campaign, "Open Hearts, Open Minds, Open Doors" unfortunately, in the 29
years I’ve been affiliated with the church I have only seen one church that
even comes close to living up to this. I don’t have a point, like I said,
I’m just bitter about some stuff lately and I feel like
ranting. I’ll probably add more to this over the next few days
but for now that’s all I have the energy to write.
If we think this is just someone that doesn’t know what they are talking about or not aware of what is happening in the church, think again! This is a preacher’s kid, (PK) that has lived the life at home and paid the price for the demands in the church in ways that we can’t even imagine. I don’t blame them for feeling this way. This is their experience and it is real. They have lived the life of a pastor from the inside and now are looking at it from the outside.
As I read the comments on her blog by others her age they were all in agreement with her on what the church is like today. They put on some of their own stories as to how the church has no idea how to connect with them and doesn’t appear to care. We can continue to ignore this kind of reaction or we can decide that we are going to start asking what needs to change for us to become a place of trust, grace and hope again. This is what I have been reading about his generation in the last few months. I have been out finding ways to connect outside the church with this generation and what I hear is not encouraging.
In the book UnChristian by Kinnaman, published by the Barna Group, is a detailed study of those between 16 and 29. It confirmed what I have been hearing in these conversations. They feel they cannot trust the church. We preach and teach one thing and then live another way both inside and more importantly outside the church. I love the title of a book by Dan Kimball, They Like Jesus But Not the Church, that talks about this generation and how they view the church.
In my message at the church I preached at this morning I started by saying “Good morning church!” There was a resounding “Good Morning” in both services. I was speaking at another church as part of a pulpit rotation. I wonder if we understand that we are the church to those that are both in and outside the church, especially to those outside the church. When we proclaim ourselves as the church we better be prepared to be the church both inside and out of the building.
As my friend tells us in their blog, and I hear when I talk to so many outside the church, we are not known for being the face of Jesus to the world. Does anything have to change in your church for the world to see the grace and love of Jesus?
Friday, April 11, 2008
The New Old Boy Network
I need to spend more time with our younger clergy! What a breath of fresh air!
Last week while having lunch with one of our younger clergy, I was refreshed to see they were not buying into the new old boy network. Yes, I said that right, the “new old boy network.” I can remember about 15 years ago talking about the old boy network and thinking that I was not a part of it. I was shocked to realize that I had allowed myself to become a part of a new old boy network. The interesting thing is the new network includes women so I guess I need to find a new name for what looks just like the old but with a different group of people. Maybe I should call it the “old church network.”
While sharing lunch they shared with me their frustration in not having anyone to share their ideas with and talk about them. It was clear to me that they felt that the “more mature” clergy didn’t have time for them or were not truly supportive of their ministry. I think what really is happening is that we are not listening to them and helping them develop their ideas. In the Lewis Center report this week it talks about the need for younger clergy in our system so that they bring the energy and the ability to connect to their generation.
I have watched excellent younger clergy come through the system, be ordained, and then leave for another denomination or become disillusioned and leave the ministry completely. There are not enough young clergy entering our system to fill the needs of the future church. We need to make changes and begin to listen to our younger clergy friends. Wait a minute; we need to make sure we have younger clergy friends first. I plan to make sure I connect with more of this new generation and learn from them.
What got me thinking about this was a suggestion from my young friend that we should appoint younger clergy in clusters where they can support one another and share ideas, problems, joys, struggles and the life of ministry. Wow! What a novel idea. Who would ever think of appointing clergy to an area where there is a support base and the ideas to touch the world could feed off of one another? It would be wonderful to be appointed in the middle of one of these clusters so that we could learn from them. Guess that would be a novel idea too, us old timers, learning from the young.
Oh my, just writing this is making me feel old. My presence here through MySpace, Facebook and now blogs is starting to open my eyes to new possibilities. I hope some of my new young friends will continue to open my eyes to new worlds that I have been missing. I hope some other members of the new old church network will join me on this journey.
Last week while having lunch with one of our younger clergy, I was refreshed to see they were not buying into the new old boy network. Yes, I said that right, the “new old boy network.” I can remember about 15 years ago talking about the old boy network and thinking that I was not a part of it. I was shocked to realize that I had allowed myself to become a part of a new old boy network. The interesting thing is the new network includes women so I guess I need to find a new name for what looks just like the old but with a different group of people. Maybe I should call it the “old church network.”
While sharing lunch they shared with me their frustration in not having anyone to share their ideas with and talk about them. It was clear to me that they felt that the “more mature” clergy didn’t have time for them or were not truly supportive of their ministry. I think what really is happening is that we are not listening to them and helping them develop their ideas. In the Lewis Center report this week it talks about the need for younger clergy in our system so that they bring the energy and the ability to connect to their generation.
I have watched excellent younger clergy come through the system, be ordained, and then leave for another denomination or become disillusioned and leave the ministry completely. There are not enough young clergy entering our system to fill the needs of the future church. We need to make changes and begin to listen to our younger clergy friends. Wait a minute; we need to make sure we have younger clergy friends first. I plan to make sure I connect with more of this new generation and learn from them.
What got me thinking about this was a suggestion from my young friend that we should appoint younger clergy in clusters where they can support one another and share ideas, problems, joys, struggles and the life of ministry. Wow! What a novel idea. Who would ever think of appointing clergy to an area where there is a support base and the ideas to touch the world could feed off of one another? It would be wonderful to be appointed in the middle of one of these clusters so that we could learn from them. Guess that would be a novel idea too, us old timers, learning from the young.
Oh my, just writing this is making me feel old. My presence here through MySpace, Facebook and now blogs is starting to open my eyes to new possibilities. I hope some of my new young friends will continue to open my eyes to new worlds that I have been missing. I hope some other members of the new old church network will join me on this journey.
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
The “Used To” church
When I first arrived at Kingsley UMC in August of 2006 and began to go out and meet people in the community, I constantly heard about things that the church used to do. People would tell me that they used to go to that church. They remember when we used to have concerts. They used to be part of the youth program. They used to go there when they were kids. I started thinking of it as the “used to” church. We were better known for what we used to do instead of what they were doing now.
Some churches haven’t figured out that they can no longer be known for what they used to be. The decline of the church has come about mainly because after years of doing what it took to make disciples they started getting comfortable and forgetting what they were about. Instead of making disciples and growing the Kingdom we stopped being creative and began to work at keeping ourselves happy. We are quickly reaching a point where we can no longer afford to do that. Unless we refocus we will become the church that used to be on that corner, in that town or in that building.
Some of what needs to be done is we just need to let people know what we are doing. It is a real mistake to assume that people in your community know what you have going on. When I do my church welcoming workshop I send people out to the nearest locations that people would stop and ask directions at. Places like gas stations, convenience stores, the police or fire station or even people on the street that you would hope know where you are located. This is a real eye opener for many of them. Most come back and report that not one of them could identify them by name.
I have learned that I need to make connections with the local media, school districts, police and fire departments and community groups in order to reverse a trend of disconnect with the community. This does two things for me. First, it allows me to begin to learn what they see as the needs and assets of the area that they live and work in. Second, it allows me to begin to share the story of the church I serve. My job then is to help the two organizations to find ways to work together and make a difference in the lives of people.
The truth is that you don’t have to be doing a tremendous amount of work to start becoming known as a church that is doing things for your community. At Kingsley, we have made sure we take advantage of our connections with the newspapers, radio and TV stations to get our name out there when we are offering an event or new ministry. We are also doing other things to build visibility and connect by hosting community groups like the neighborhood watch, girl scouts and AA. We are doing some creative outreaches like Open Mic Night and Karaoke night in our coffee house ministry area. Signs are also a key communicator.
Last fall we started a new program after school for kids in the 1st through 6th grades we call STARS. This program provides for some help with homework and then using the arts, we help the kids learn new skills and build new friendships. They learn musical instruments, songs, drama and arts and crafts along with sign language and dance. We have had two performance nights where the community had a chance to see the kids and the kids had a chance to be the star. During our last term we had over 30 kids involved and the night of their performance we had between 175 and 180 people show up for the show. What a wonderful way to connect to the community.
This week one of the mothers of one of our “stars” called and asked if I would conduct her wedding this summer. This will give me an opportunity to connect with them during premarital counseling and the wedding in ways that would have never been open to me before. People are beginning to come to us with ministry ideas and opportunities. It is an exciting time.
Every week we have visitors to one of our three very different services that we offer as a result of our work to connect with the people of our community. Some will stay and others will continue to look for their faith connection in other places but we have had an opportunity to touch their lives here. It has been a long time since I heard the words “that is the church that used to” and now I hear people talk about what we are doing or refer to it as “the church that always has something going on in it.”
What is your church known for?
Some churches haven’t figured out that they can no longer be known for what they used to be. The decline of the church has come about mainly because after years of doing what it took to make disciples they started getting comfortable and forgetting what they were about. Instead of making disciples and growing the Kingdom we stopped being creative and began to work at keeping ourselves happy. We are quickly reaching a point where we can no longer afford to do that. Unless we refocus we will become the church that used to be on that corner, in that town or in that building.
Some of what needs to be done is we just need to let people know what we are doing. It is a real mistake to assume that people in your community know what you have going on. When I do my church welcoming workshop I send people out to the nearest locations that people would stop and ask directions at. Places like gas stations, convenience stores, the police or fire station or even people on the street that you would hope know where you are located. This is a real eye opener for many of them. Most come back and report that not one of them could identify them by name.
I have learned that I need to make connections with the local media, school districts, police and fire departments and community groups in order to reverse a trend of disconnect with the community. This does two things for me. First, it allows me to begin to learn what they see as the needs and assets of the area that they live and work in. Second, it allows me to begin to share the story of the church I serve. My job then is to help the two organizations to find ways to work together and make a difference in the lives of people.
The truth is that you don’t have to be doing a tremendous amount of work to start becoming known as a church that is doing things for your community. At Kingsley, we have made sure we take advantage of our connections with the newspapers, radio and TV stations to get our name out there when we are offering an event or new ministry. We are also doing other things to build visibility and connect by hosting community groups like the neighborhood watch, girl scouts and AA. We are doing some creative outreaches like Open Mic Night and Karaoke night in our coffee house ministry area. Signs are also a key communicator.
Last fall we started a new program after school for kids in the 1st through 6th grades we call STARS. This program provides for some help with homework and then using the arts, we help the kids learn new skills and build new friendships. They learn musical instruments, songs, drama and arts and crafts along with sign language and dance. We have had two performance nights where the community had a chance to see the kids and the kids had a chance to be the star. During our last term we had over 30 kids involved and the night of their performance we had between 175 and 180 people show up for the show. What a wonderful way to connect to the community.
This week one of the mothers of one of our “stars” called and asked if I would conduct her wedding this summer. This will give me an opportunity to connect with them during premarital counseling and the wedding in ways that would have never been open to me before. People are beginning to come to us with ministry ideas and opportunities. It is an exciting time.
Every week we have visitors to one of our three very different services that we offer as a result of our work to connect with the people of our community. Some will stay and others will continue to look for their faith connection in other places but we have had an opportunity to touch their lives here. It has been a long time since I heard the words “that is the church that used to” and now I hear people talk about what we are doing or refer to it as “the church that always has something going on in it.”
What is your church known for?
Sunday, April 6, 2008
Marrying into the Church Family
How many times have you heard of a congregation referring to itself as a family? I have been thinking of the dynamics of this lately as I have worked with a number of churches that are in conflict or struggling to do ministry. Just because someone becomes a member of the family does not mean that they are made a part of the family life.
I had one man tell me he had married into the church family more than 20 years ago but had never really felt like he was accepted. He had obvious leadership skills but held no official office or leadership positions. This was in a church that the leadership told me how tired they were since they had to do all the work and there was no one else to do it. It was interesting that when this man and others were asked, they were thrilled to take a leadership role.
We all know someone that has married into a family but was never really treated like family. They are invited to family functions but are not asked to be part of the decision making in the extended family. They are expected to help when something needs done and be present at all events but it is made clear that their opinions are not that important. This can go on for years without change.
In the church we have people marry into the family and we also adopt people and call them part of the family. But what are the limitations that are placed on people before they are allowed to assume leadership in the church family. Is there a need to have been there for years? Does someone have to die? Is there some ritual or level of financial commitment that need to be met before you are allowed to enter the leadership ranks? Are we open to new ideas or new ways of doing things.
We need to be continually looking for those that have joined in with the family but have never been made feel like a part of the family. Until we do we are missing tremendous resources that God has placed right in our midst. There are many that are in our church that may not be able or want to be a part of the leadership, but would make excellent resources to do ministry. Sometimes we even ought to look at the black sheep of the family and see how they can be used by God to reach people. If we believe that each person is a child of God then we need to look for new ways for them to be a part of a healthy family life.
Usually when I tell the church leadership that I am finding that their church includes people that have been there for years but still do not feel like a part of the family, they look at me like I am nuts. They want to know how anyone could not feel a part of their family. After all, they have been welcomed and we are friendly to them. They never volunteer to do anything and become a part of the life of the church. We don’t think that we may have to ask them the first, if we truly want them to feel like they are a part of the family. We think the responsibility is theirs.
When I do my “Welcome to My Church” seminar I am always amazed how many people think the fact that they feel friendly they are welcoming to outsiders. Someone asked me the first day of one session how we were going to talk about being friendly for nine hours. When I ask her if being friendly and welcoming was the same thing she thought for a few seconds. “Why do I think that you are going to tell me that it is not?” That was the beginning of a learning experience. We need to look at the assumptions we are making and then see if we can’t find ways to truly bring people into the family of God. What kind of family would your church be if Jesus came to visit?
I had one man tell me he had married into the church family more than 20 years ago but had never really felt like he was accepted. He had obvious leadership skills but held no official office or leadership positions. This was in a church that the leadership told me how tired they were since they had to do all the work and there was no one else to do it. It was interesting that when this man and others were asked, they were thrilled to take a leadership role.
We all know someone that has married into a family but was never really treated like family. They are invited to family functions but are not asked to be part of the decision making in the extended family. They are expected to help when something needs done and be present at all events but it is made clear that their opinions are not that important. This can go on for years without change.
In the church we have people marry into the family and we also adopt people and call them part of the family. But what are the limitations that are placed on people before they are allowed to assume leadership in the church family. Is there a need to have been there for years? Does someone have to die? Is there some ritual or level of financial commitment that need to be met before you are allowed to enter the leadership ranks? Are we open to new ideas or new ways of doing things.
We need to be continually looking for those that have joined in with the family but have never been made feel like a part of the family. Until we do we are missing tremendous resources that God has placed right in our midst. There are many that are in our church that may not be able or want to be a part of the leadership, but would make excellent resources to do ministry. Sometimes we even ought to look at the black sheep of the family and see how they can be used by God to reach people. If we believe that each person is a child of God then we need to look for new ways for them to be a part of a healthy family life.
Usually when I tell the church leadership that I am finding that their church includes people that have been there for years but still do not feel like a part of the family, they look at me like I am nuts. They want to know how anyone could not feel a part of their family. After all, they have been welcomed and we are friendly to them. They never volunteer to do anything and become a part of the life of the church. We don’t think that we may have to ask them the first, if we truly want them to feel like they are a part of the family. We think the responsibility is theirs.
When I do my “Welcome to My Church” seminar I am always amazed how many people think the fact that they feel friendly they are welcoming to outsiders. Someone asked me the first day of one session how we were going to talk about being friendly for nine hours. When I ask her if being friendly and welcoming was the same thing she thought for a few seconds. “Why do I think that you are going to tell me that it is not?” That was the beginning of a learning experience. We need to look at the assumptions we are making and then see if we can’t find ways to truly bring people into the family of God. What kind of family would your church be if Jesus came to visit?
Saturday, March 29, 2008
Urban Legends
Today I received another of those e-mails that passed on a claim that some company was producing a product that was a danger to our lives. As I do when I have time I ran it through Google and quickly found that it had no basis in fact. One thing I have learned is that I NEVER pass them on unless I can document them as fact, no matter who they come from. I often have great respect for the person that sent it to me and know that they are people of integrity and someone I trust. When I take the time to do a little checking I find that about 99% of these are not based on fact or only tell part of the story. I often send an e-mail back documenting the fact that this is a hoax.
This got me to thinking about what happens in the church. Someone we trust tells us something about someone else in the church and because of who it came from we assume that it is true. We then pass that story on as fact to someone else. How many times have you seen one of these stories spread throughout the church body and cause great harm? How many times have you later learned that the story was in fact not true or only part of the story? I have been both hurt by these stories and seen the destructive power of the untruthful word. And, if I am honest, I have passed some of these on myself.
I am slowly learning, after 50 years, that I need to take a few minutes to check out a story before I assume that it is true and pass it on. Call the people that are supposed to be the source and find out more about the story. It is amazing what happens when I talk to the people that will be hurt if I pass this on without checking it out. I almost always learn there is more to the story. When I take the time to do this I save myself the embarrassment of later having to go back and say I was wrong. Or worse yet, ignoring the fact that I passed on something that wasn’t true and if and when others find out my integrity is hurt.
Many times when I start checking out one of these stories I find that someone that is unhappy has gone to someone and told a story that was meant to hurt. We all know someone that if we want a story passed on we can go to and know that it will become part of the gossip mill within minutes. As often happens in any organization that person passes it on and maybe adds something to it or “forgets” a fact. Once it gets to those that are respected and trusted it starts to be treated as truth.
At one time the church was known to be a place that you could come to seek out truth. When people become a part of your church, is the way that people treat each other tell them that this is a place of truth? In the internet world these e-mails have become known as urban legends and are fairly easy to check out. How much effort would it take to check out a story before we passed it on?
As a pastor in my denomination we have a committee known as the Pastor Parish Relations Committee (PPR) that is to be my support group in the life of the church. I always tell them they are to be my eyes and ears to the life of the congregation. I also tell them that I will listen to any complaint that comes to them as long as the source is identified. If the source is not willing to be identified then I will not listen to the complaint. This often causes anger and resentment, but I cannot deal with things I cannot get to the source of. If I do not do this then I have to guess where it might have come from or treat everyone as if they are the source. This is not fair to anyone.
Before I entered the ministry I served in many roles in the life of my church including lay leader and chairman of the PPR. One thing I learned was that the person that came to me with a story that they didn’t want to be identified with usually was not based in fact. When they said they didn’t want to cause trouble, I knew that was exactly what they wanted to do, and if I passed on that story I had to then own it.
In the internet world these stories have become known as urban legends. The church is full of its own urban legends, some that make it look better and some that destroy it.
This got me to thinking about what happens in the church. Someone we trust tells us something about someone else in the church and because of who it came from we assume that it is true. We then pass that story on as fact to someone else. How many times have you seen one of these stories spread throughout the church body and cause great harm? How many times have you later learned that the story was in fact not true or only part of the story? I have been both hurt by these stories and seen the destructive power of the untruthful word. And, if I am honest, I have passed some of these on myself.
I am slowly learning, after 50 years, that I need to take a few minutes to check out a story before I assume that it is true and pass it on. Call the people that are supposed to be the source and find out more about the story. It is amazing what happens when I talk to the people that will be hurt if I pass this on without checking it out. I almost always learn there is more to the story. When I take the time to do this I save myself the embarrassment of later having to go back and say I was wrong. Or worse yet, ignoring the fact that I passed on something that wasn’t true and if and when others find out my integrity is hurt.
Many times when I start checking out one of these stories I find that someone that is unhappy has gone to someone and told a story that was meant to hurt. We all know someone that if we want a story passed on we can go to and know that it will become part of the gossip mill within minutes. As often happens in any organization that person passes it on and maybe adds something to it or “forgets” a fact. Once it gets to those that are respected and trusted it starts to be treated as truth.
At one time the church was known to be a place that you could come to seek out truth. When people become a part of your church, is the way that people treat each other tell them that this is a place of truth? In the internet world these e-mails have become known as urban legends and are fairly easy to check out. How much effort would it take to check out a story before we passed it on?
As a pastor in my denomination we have a committee known as the Pastor Parish Relations Committee (PPR) that is to be my support group in the life of the church. I always tell them they are to be my eyes and ears to the life of the congregation. I also tell them that I will listen to any complaint that comes to them as long as the source is identified. If the source is not willing to be identified then I will not listen to the complaint. This often causes anger and resentment, but I cannot deal with things I cannot get to the source of. If I do not do this then I have to guess where it might have come from or treat everyone as if they are the source. This is not fair to anyone.
Before I entered the ministry I served in many roles in the life of my church including lay leader and chairman of the PPR. One thing I learned was that the person that came to me with a story that they didn’t want to be identified with usually was not based in fact. When they said they didn’t want to cause trouble, I knew that was exactly what they wanted to do, and if I passed on that story I had to then own it.
In the internet world these stories have become known as urban legends. The church is full of its own urban legends, some that make it look better and some that destroy it.
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Joining the Church "Family"
How many times have you heard of a congregation referring to itself as a family? I have been thinking of the dynamics of this lately as I have worked with a number of churches that are in conflict or struggling to do ministry. Just because someone becomes a member of the family does not mean that they are made a part of the family life.
I had one man tell me he had married into the church family more than 20 years ago but had never really felt like he was accepted. He had obvious leadership skills but held no official office or leadership positions. This was in a church that the leadership told me how tired they were since they had to do all the work and there was no one else to do it. It was interesting that when this man and others were asked they were thrilled to take a leadership role.
We all know someone that has married into a family but was never really treated like family. They are invited to family functions but are not asked to be part of the decision making in the extended family. They are expected to help when something needs done and be present at all events but it is made clear that their opinions are not that important. This can go on for years without change.
In the church we have people marry into the family and we also adopt people and call them part of the family. But what are the limitations that are placed on people before they are allowed to assume leadership in the church family. Is there a need to have been there for years? Does someone have to die? Is there some ritual or level of financial commitment that need to be met before you are allowed to enter the leadership ranks?
We need to be continually looking for those that have joined in with the family but have never been made feel like a part of the family. Until we do we are missing tremendous resources that God has placed right in our midst.
I had one man tell me he had married into the church family more than 20 years ago but had never really felt like he was accepted. He had obvious leadership skills but held no official office or leadership positions. This was in a church that the leadership told me how tired they were since they had to do all the work and there was no one else to do it. It was interesting that when this man and others were asked they were thrilled to take a leadership role.
We all know someone that has married into a family but was never really treated like family. They are invited to family functions but are not asked to be part of the decision making in the extended family. They are expected to help when something needs done and be present at all events but it is made clear that their opinions are not that important. This can go on for years without change.
In the church we have people marry into the family and we also adopt people and call them part of the family. But what are the limitations that are placed on people before they are allowed to assume leadership in the church family. Is there a need to have been there for years? Does someone have to die? Is there some ritual or level of financial commitment that need to be met before you are allowed to enter the leadership ranks?
We need to be continually looking for those that have joined in with the family but have never been made feel like a part of the family. Until we do we are missing tremendous resources that God has placed right in our midst.
Thursday, March 20, 2008
Hospice Care Anyone?
Let’s face it! Some churches are never going to recover from the decline they have allowed themselves to go into. It is time for churches to recognize if they are not making disciples and growing that they have failed to be what Jesus called them to be. The primary purpose of the church is to make people want to be students of Jesus Christ. That is what a disciple is, a student, a person that wants to learn about who and what Jesus is. There are a lot of people out there that are seeking a relationship with God. That is what a disciple of Jesus learns to have in their life. That is the primary purpose of the church and yet many are failing to make or develop disciples and are therefore declining and moving toward death.
As a pastor I am called to be with people when they are told that there is no longer any treatment that will help them and that they need to understand that they are not going to get any better than they are now. At some point many choose to enter hospice care. They recognize that they are dying and want to die with some comfort and dignity.
Is it time that some of our churches enter into hospice care? I believe that it is. I have been in a number of churches that have said something like “We don’t have the energy to do what needs to be done anymore” or “There are not enough of us to do what it would take to turn us around again.” I am not sure that I think either of those statements is really true. We always have the energy and the number of people to make new disciples. A small group of disciples that started out in and around Jerusalem 2000 years ago began to make a difference in the lives of those around them by living as they had been taught to live by Jesus and then teaching those things to others. We are the church today because they decided they had something important to share with others. The message hasn’t changed over all those years.
The fact is that some churches have no interest in making and growing disciples. They want to be cared for until they die. Maybe it is time to let them die with dignity and begin to allow that process to be recognized and cared for. When someone we love is told that they are terminal, we begin a process of grieving. What would happen if we started putting churches that are no longer making disciples and are not willing to develop a plan to on hospice care?
There are pastors out there that would be very good at doing hospice care for these churches. We could make sure they were able to die with dignity and that the resources are better invested somewhere that wants to reach out for new disciples and grow them as they enter the church. What would we have to do to train and prepare pastors and churches to enter the final stages of life?
It is time that churches either becomes disciple making churches that are growing in numbers or building disciples and using their facility to the fullest. If not it is time stop using resources that could better be used in churches that are answering the call go and make disciples.
As a pastor I am called to be with people when they are told that there is no longer any treatment that will help them and that they need to understand that they are not going to get any better than they are now. At some point many choose to enter hospice care. They recognize that they are dying and want to die with some comfort and dignity.
Is it time that some of our churches enter into hospice care? I believe that it is. I have been in a number of churches that have said something like “We don’t have the energy to do what needs to be done anymore” or “There are not enough of us to do what it would take to turn us around again.” I am not sure that I think either of those statements is really true. We always have the energy and the number of people to make new disciples. A small group of disciples that started out in and around Jerusalem 2000 years ago began to make a difference in the lives of those around them by living as they had been taught to live by Jesus and then teaching those things to others. We are the church today because they decided they had something important to share with others. The message hasn’t changed over all those years.
The fact is that some churches have no interest in making and growing disciples. They want to be cared for until they die. Maybe it is time to let them die with dignity and begin to allow that process to be recognized and cared for. When someone we love is told that they are terminal, we begin a process of grieving. What would happen if we started putting churches that are no longer making disciples and are not willing to develop a plan to on hospice care?
There are pastors out there that would be very good at doing hospice care for these churches. We could make sure they were able to die with dignity and that the resources are better invested somewhere that wants to reach out for new disciples and grow them as they enter the church. What would we have to do to train and prepare pastors and churches to enter the final stages of life?
It is time that churches either becomes disciple making churches that are growing in numbers or building disciples and using their facility to the fullest. If not it is time stop using resources that could better be used in churches that are answering the call go and make disciples.
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
Lesson from a Grocery Store
When I taught marketing at a number of colleges a few years ago I came across a story about a grocery store in Miami that I think the church can learn a lesson from. It is a true story and really illustrates the importance in paying attention to what is going on around us.
The store, owned by the same man for around 40 years, had a history of profitability and had been a positive part of the community. Over the past decade there had been a steady decline in sales and therefore profits.
One day the owner was wandering around the store bemoaning the loss of business and wondering if he should think about going out of business. It was hard work to run the business and he just was not sure that he knew what to do or had the energy to turn it around. As he walked through the produce department, he began to share his frustrations with one of his long-term employees. She looked at him and asked “Do you really want to know why your business is declining? I can tell you.” He looked at her with shock and said “Of course I want to know.”
She told him “Most people cannot read your signs in the store.”
The shocked owner responded, “What are you talking about? Look at these beautiful signs! I spend a fortune to have them all professional painted and printed. They are done by the best in the business.”
She responded “But they are all in English. The people in our community that we want as customers no longer speak English and therefore cannot read our signs.”
The shocked owner went to his office and began to contemplate what his employee had told him. He was a smart businessman and began to study the demographics of his community. He realized that he had been out of touch with those around him. He called his sign company and had every sign in the story redone at considerable cost to the store. There was great risk in making that kind of investment and he was not happy about the need to make this kind of change in the way he did business.
The next week his business was up 40%. He didn’t have to change what he had to offer, just how he delivered the message.
Many of our churches are just like that grocery store. The communities around us have changed and we have failed to change the way we communicate with those around us. We want to use the same old signs, the same media that we have always used, and we want to deliver our message in the way that worked for many years. That has lead many of our churches to a long history of decline and put their future at risk.
The truth is, if we do not do what it takes to communicate the gospel to our community God will find someone else to bring that message to the people that he loves and cares about. A new store (church) will move into our area and we will continue to decline. We need to carefully examine how those in our current culture are reached with a message. And we need to learn to speak their language.
Changing the way we communicate often makes us uncomfortable, especially when we need to learn a whole new language to make sure people understand what we have to offer. We have the most important message in history to tell and there is a tremendous market for a message of hope.
The question is “Will you be willing to make the changes in the way the message is delivered? What costs are you willing to pay so that the people in your community will know that God cares about them and loves them?”
Friday, February 22, 2008
Limited Connection to the World
As I write this I am sitting at Olmsted Manor in the deep freeze of February. There is limited contact with the outside world. My cell phone can get a text message sometimes but unless you stand in a certain spot outside in the cold wind you cannot hope to have a conversation or even pick up voice mail. There is one spot in the lobby that I can connect to the internet so a couple of times a day I pick up my e-mail or check the weather on the web. The rest of the day you can’t get a hold of me.
I am here for training in coaching Natural Church Development and it is wonderful to be able to get away for a couple of days. As we talk about what are the characteristics of a healthy church, I begin to think about the purpose of the church. The purpose of the church is to go and make disciple of the world and then to provide opportunities for spiritual growth as a disciple of Jesus.
I believe that our call is to live in such a way that others want to know about the Jesus we are connected to and therefore to God. For many they have disconnected with the world so much that even though they are living in the midst of it they no longer see the world around them.
Several years ago I was running a grounds crew for a college during the summer. I have about 20 students working for me and a large part of my job was to keep track of them and make sure they were doing what they were assigned to do. One day as I was driving around checking on my crews there were three young ladies working in a flowerbed weeding and cleaning it up. I sat there for several minutes thinking there was something wrong but not able to put my finger on it. Finally it hit me! Here were three college age women and there was no conversation taking place. Each had their own headpiece on and were listening to whatever it was that met their personal need or desire. They were not communicating with each other.
Since that time I have noticed that we have disconnected with the world in many ways. We have also become out of touch with most of the rest of the world. In the book unChristian by Dan Kinnamen, published by The Barna Group, it is pointed out that the church is not viewed in a positive light by those in the 16 to 29 year old range. As I have shared this information with those that have been in the church for a long time there tends to be a “but that is not who we are” response. It really doesn’t matter what the truth is when the perception other have is different from what we think we are like. Notice, I said think that we are like. Many of the words that this group uses to describe the church are accurate in my estimation. The problem seems to be that we have become so disconnected from the world around us that we no longer know how to communicate with those in that world. And if we are honest, at times we would rather not communicate with them. Especially when they push us out of our comfort zone.
When I look back at the life of Jesus he was the one pushing people out of their comfort zone. Shouldn’t the church be the one pushing people out of their comfort zone? It seems to me that we are more interested in keeping people comfortable then challenging them to think about God’s expectations of them and the fact that might make them uncomfortable. Yet we have lost generations because they make us uncomfortable.
Maybe it is time to start looking for new ways to connect to the world that we have allowed to slip away.
I am here for training in coaching Natural Church Development and it is wonderful to be able to get away for a couple of days. As we talk about what are the characteristics of a healthy church, I begin to think about the purpose of the church. The purpose of the church is to go and make disciple of the world and then to provide opportunities for spiritual growth as a disciple of Jesus.
I believe that our call is to live in such a way that others want to know about the Jesus we are connected to and therefore to God. For many they have disconnected with the world so much that even though they are living in the midst of it they no longer see the world around them.
Several years ago I was running a grounds crew for a college during the summer. I have about 20 students working for me and a large part of my job was to keep track of them and make sure they were doing what they were assigned to do. One day as I was driving around checking on my crews there were three young ladies working in a flowerbed weeding and cleaning it up. I sat there for several minutes thinking there was something wrong but not able to put my finger on it. Finally it hit me! Here were three college age women and there was no conversation taking place. Each had their own headpiece on and were listening to whatever it was that met their personal need or desire. They were not communicating with each other.
Since that time I have noticed that we have disconnected with the world in many ways. We have also become out of touch with most of the rest of the world. In the book unChristian by Dan Kinnamen, published by The Barna Group, it is pointed out that the church is not viewed in a positive light by those in the 16 to 29 year old range. As I have shared this information with those that have been in the church for a long time there tends to be a “but that is not who we are” response. It really doesn’t matter what the truth is when the perception other have is different from what we think we are like. Notice, I said think that we are like. Many of the words that this group uses to describe the church are accurate in my estimation. The problem seems to be that we have become so disconnected from the world around us that we no longer know how to communicate with those in that world. And if we are honest, at times we would rather not communicate with them. Especially when they push us out of our comfort zone.
When I look back at the life of Jesus he was the one pushing people out of their comfort zone. Shouldn’t the church be the one pushing people out of their comfort zone? It seems to me that we are more interested in keeping people comfortable then challenging them to think about God’s expectations of them and the fact that might make them uncomfortable. Yet we have lost generations because they make us uncomfortable.
Maybe it is time to start looking for new ways to connect to the world that we have allowed to slip away.
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
Church or Country Club
At a meeting with a local church group one night someone said that some people in the community referred to them as the “Country Club Church.” There was a general gasp of disbelief around the room. How could anyone think of them as a country club when they knew that they were not like that? We don’t have a lot of money.
That got me to thinking about how much many of our churches, especially the older ones, are like country clubs in many ways. When I was younger and in management I played golf at a local country club with my boss and spent some time at the clubhouse. While I was not a member we often ate lunch in the clubhouse after a morning round and would chat with other members of the club. I would listen to the older members criticizing the younger members for things they wanted to change about the club. Why would you want women and children hanging around your club? The menu was fine the way it has always been. You don’t need any of that fancy stuff on the menu. That only raises your expenses and it costs enough to run the club now. There is no reason to change the way we have always run this club. Look at what a great place we built here 40 years ago.
One day I picked up the paper and read that a group of young guys were putting together the money to build a new country club about 7 miles down the road. The guys at lunch would laugh and talk about how ridiculous it was to put in those swimming pools and more tennis courts. And they would never get anyone to go to that fancy clubhouse and eat at the fancy restaurant they were building. The apartments and condos that were being built beside the clubhouse would mean that there were women and children running around the club. Who would want to belong to a club like that?
A group of people got together and invested about 7.5 million dollars in the new club. There was a general sense of excitement when the club opened and people began to join. It quickly became the place to take business associates and guests if you wanted to impress them. That was where the younger professionals started hanging out, doing business and making new friends. It became the talk of the area and membership grew. I noticed that there were some of the older members from the old club joining too.
Back at the old club members started to notice that there were less and less young members joining the club. Their kids were joining the new club if they still lived in the area. And they didn’t have connections with the new people moving into the area because they were too established in their world and didn’t know how to reach out to the younger generations. I began to hear complaints that their sons didn’t come to the club anymore because they went to that big fancy new club down the road. Didn’t these kids understand how important it was to maintain some tradition?
It wasn’t long before care for the facility started to decline. The golf course began to show some wear and there wasn’t the same amount of help or service available. At the end of the year, the assessment to meet the budget each year began to grow and the need for more year end funding made it difficult for some members to justify their membership. Some began to leave the club because they couldn’t afford to meet the financial needs of the club.
Finally some member began to try and update the club. They added items to the menu, invited wives and family to more events. They even built a women’s locker room and began allowing women to eat in the clubhouse at lunchtime. But now there was not the money to meet the expectations of the younger people seeking a country club. Membership continued to decline and there was not the time or the people with the energy to make the needed changes. Eventually the club was sold to a man that opened it as a public golf course and restaurant. The old way of life had ended and it was a sad day in the community.
As I thought back on my days of being around the country club I realized that in many ways churches can be just like that old club. We want to hold on to our traditions and any attempt to bring about change is a threat to our way of life. We sit around a ridicule those that are younger and “don’t understand” and then watch as they go to other churches. We often think that they will “grow up” and return to our church. Have you noticed that is not happening? Look around your church and ask how many families in your church are multi-generational. I think you will be surprised to find that even in churches with large congregations that there are a limited number of families with more than two generations still in the same church.
We don’t like to admit it but younger people tend to think differently than we do and the young people of today are less likely to “grow up” and begin to think like we do. We can look at one or two things and say that is all we need to change and the young people will start coming back. We can continue to expect that young people will one day “grow up” and act like us. The truth is, we need to begin addressing the needs of people of all ages now. We need to think outside of our comfort zone, ask what is really important to the Kingdom of God. Jesus took the Jewish community so far out of their comfort zone that they wanted him killed rather than face change. There was a way that God had told them that you connected with God and if you couldn’t do it that way you didn’t belong. Did God also create the environment in which all of the changes in the world have taken place?
We are going to have to make some very difficult decisions in our churches if we are going to be vital in ministry and the making of disciples for Jesus Christ. Will your church be known for its relevance to the community or will it become like the country club that choose to pretend that the world around it was not changing?
That got me to thinking about how much many of our churches, especially the older ones, are like country clubs in many ways. When I was younger and in management I played golf at a local country club with my boss and spent some time at the clubhouse. While I was not a member we often ate lunch in the clubhouse after a morning round and would chat with other members of the club. I would listen to the older members criticizing the younger members for things they wanted to change about the club. Why would you want women and children hanging around your club? The menu was fine the way it has always been. You don’t need any of that fancy stuff on the menu. That only raises your expenses and it costs enough to run the club now. There is no reason to change the way we have always run this club. Look at what a great place we built here 40 years ago.
One day I picked up the paper and read that a group of young guys were putting together the money to build a new country club about 7 miles down the road. The guys at lunch would laugh and talk about how ridiculous it was to put in those swimming pools and more tennis courts. And they would never get anyone to go to that fancy clubhouse and eat at the fancy restaurant they were building. The apartments and condos that were being built beside the clubhouse would mean that there were women and children running around the club. Who would want to belong to a club like that?
A group of people got together and invested about 7.5 million dollars in the new club. There was a general sense of excitement when the club opened and people began to join. It quickly became the place to take business associates and guests if you wanted to impress them. That was where the younger professionals started hanging out, doing business and making new friends. It became the talk of the area and membership grew. I noticed that there were some of the older members from the old club joining too.
Back at the old club members started to notice that there were less and less young members joining the club. Their kids were joining the new club if they still lived in the area. And they didn’t have connections with the new people moving into the area because they were too established in their world and didn’t know how to reach out to the younger generations. I began to hear complaints that their sons didn’t come to the club anymore because they went to that big fancy new club down the road. Didn’t these kids understand how important it was to maintain some tradition?
It wasn’t long before care for the facility started to decline. The golf course began to show some wear and there wasn’t the same amount of help or service available. At the end of the year, the assessment to meet the budget each year began to grow and the need for more year end funding made it difficult for some members to justify their membership. Some began to leave the club because they couldn’t afford to meet the financial needs of the club.
Finally some member began to try and update the club. They added items to the menu, invited wives and family to more events. They even built a women’s locker room and began allowing women to eat in the clubhouse at lunchtime. But now there was not the money to meet the expectations of the younger people seeking a country club. Membership continued to decline and there was not the time or the people with the energy to make the needed changes. Eventually the club was sold to a man that opened it as a public golf course and restaurant. The old way of life had ended and it was a sad day in the community.
As I thought back on my days of being around the country club I realized that in many ways churches can be just like that old club. We want to hold on to our traditions and any attempt to bring about change is a threat to our way of life. We sit around a ridicule those that are younger and “don’t understand” and then watch as they go to other churches. We often think that they will “grow up” and return to our church. Have you noticed that is not happening? Look around your church and ask how many families in your church are multi-generational. I think you will be surprised to find that even in churches with large congregations that there are a limited number of families with more than two generations still in the same church.
We don’t like to admit it but younger people tend to think differently than we do and the young people of today are less likely to “grow up” and begin to think like we do. We can look at one or two things and say that is all we need to change and the young people will start coming back. We can continue to expect that young people will one day “grow up” and act like us. The truth is, we need to begin addressing the needs of people of all ages now. We need to think outside of our comfort zone, ask what is really important to the Kingdom of God. Jesus took the Jewish community so far out of their comfort zone that they wanted him killed rather than face change. There was a way that God had told them that you connected with God and if you couldn’t do it that way you didn’t belong. Did God also create the environment in which all of the changes in the world have taken place?
We are going to have to make some very difficult decisions in our churches if we are going to be vital in ministry and the making of disciples for Jesus Christ. Will your church be known for its relevance to the community or will it become like the country club that choose to pretend that the world around it was not changing?
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